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The Da Vinci Code movie By Published: 2 June 2006 (GMT+10) Critics have not been impressed with the movie version of Dan Brown’s novel, The Da Vinci Code. At the premiere movie showing, on 17 May 2006, at the 59 th Cannes Film Festival, ‘one scene from the film, meant to be serious, elicited prolonged laughter from the audience’, and at the end ‘there was no applause, only a few catcalls and hisses.’ Another critic wrote: ‘The religious sect that recently advised parishioners to “fast unto death” to protest The Da Vinci Code can start eating again. This Code isn’t all it’ cracked up to be.

The movie is so nervous about offending anyone that it’ hardly any fun. [Tom] Hanks (who plays the hero) delivers a few solemn speeches meant to deflect criticism. Meanwhile, he and [Audrey] Tautou (who plays the heroine) barely hit it off.’ In my opinion, viewers who have not read the would find parts of the film hard to follow. In particular, the opening and closing sequences, which supposedly set the scene and supply the finale for what the yarn is all about, are not at all clear. At the beginning, the curator of the Louvre, after being shot, takes off his clothes and arranges his body on the floor in the posture of Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous sketch, The Vitruvian Man. The book explains that this is heroine Sophie’s favourite sketch by Leonardo, and that her dead grandfather arranged his body in this way, as he was dying, to catch her attention. However, there is not enough time to make all this clear in the first few minutes of film.

In the closing sequence, hero Langdon kneels to worship the bones of Mary Magdalene, but how on earth could her tomb be buried underneath the glass pyramid structure, in the floor of the Louvre? Neither the film nor the book explains this. Nevertheless, the film shows a ‘cutaway’ sequence, supposedly of a large crypt containing Mary’s tomb, beneath the floor. No wonder the Cannes audience booed and hissed. According to the book, this same tomb also contains ‘four huge chests that each required six men to carry’, allegedly containing ‘thousands of pages of unaltered pre-Constantine documents, written by the early followers of Jesus, revering him as a wholly human teacher and prophet’.

Film director Ron Howard does not picture this piece of gross historic bunkum and wishful thinking. By the way, the name of the artist that painted The Last Supper was Leonardo. ‘Da Vinci’ means ‘of Vinci’, which was Leonardo’s birthplace. Calling him ‘Da Vinci’ all the time, is like calling St Francis of Assisi just ‘Of Assisi’. The 2hr 22min film is quite violent, with about a dozen murders or deaths graphically depicted, and is very gloomy—up to 80% of it takes place at night, in darkened rooms, or in the dark interiors of the Louvre and of various churches or cathedrals. I can’t imagine it attracting a cult following, because I can’t imagine anyone wanting to see it a second time, and virtually none of the dialogue is worth remembering or repeating.